{"id":757,"date":"2011-02-01T12:35:21","date_gmt":"2011-02-01T02:35:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/denleymusic.com\/wordpress\/?p=757"},"modified":"2011-02-01T12:35:21","modified_gmt":"2011-02-01T02:35:21","slug":"laughter-leavens-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.denleymusic.com\/musicblog\/laughter-leavens-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Laughter Leavens Life…"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\nand makes for an interesting choir or orchestra practice \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n

Ahhhh I have the fondest memories of trying to get through a choir rehearsal with a friend whispering jokes in my ear, of the violinist in the chair next to me whispering viola jokes, and perhaps some not so fond memories of receiving a few ‘wet willies’ in the ear by the ROTTEN tenors sitting behind me in Regional choir. I did marry one of them, so they can’t have been so bad. (In case you don’t know, a wet willy is given by licking your index finger, and sticking in an unsuspecting person’s ear – rather gross!)<\/p>\n

Ever had a choir member who simply cannot sing to save themselves? Here are some things to say to let them down gently:-<\/p>\n

“I’m sorry, we’ve run out of robes.”
\n* “We need strong singers like you in the congregation to help them sing the hymns.”
\n* “I wouldn’t want you to strain your voice.”
\n* “Did you know singing can aggravate sinus problems?”
\n*”We still need good people for the hand bell choir.”
\n* “Here’s a book on spiritual gifts, why don’t you look through it and we can find another place in the church for you to effectively minister.”
\n* “It’s a shame composers don’t write more songs in your style.”
\n* “You have a unique range – you hit both notes well.”
\n* “Did you know there is a new Bible study starting the same night as choir practice, I think you’d get a lot from it.”
\n* “You have excellent posture.”<\/p>\n

Oh deary me!<\/p>\n

And a collection of string jokes (mainly viola jokes -did I mention I am a violinist??)<\/p>\n

– What’s the difference between a viola and a trampoline? You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
\n– How to you get 2 viola players to play in tune? Shoot one of them.
\n– Why do viola players put their violas on the dashboard? So they can park in handicapped spaces. (No offence to handicapped people intended, of course).
\n– Why are there skid marks in front of a violin but not a viola? Cars stop for a violin.
\n– What’s the difference between the first desk of violas and the last desk? About 4 bars.
\n– How do you get 2 viola players to play a semitone apart? Ask them to play in unison.
\n– What’s the difference between a violin and a viola? A viola takes longer to burn.
\n– What’s the range of a viola? As far as you can throw it.
\n– How are lightening bolts like a violist’s fingers? They never strike in the same place twice.
\n– How do you keep your violin from getting stolen? Put it in a viola case.
\n– What’s the difference between a violin and a cello? A cello holds more beer.
\n– What do you do with a dead violist? Move him back a desk.
\n– What’s the definition of ‘perfect pitch’? Throwing a viola into the garbage bin wtihout hitting the side.<\/p>\n

And I could go on and on and on, but I may never be allowed to play with other string players ever again \ud83d\ude09<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

and makes for an interesting choir or orchestra practice \ud83d\ude09 Ahhhh I have the fondest memories of trying to get through a choir rehearsal with a friend whispering jokes in my ear, of the violinist in the chair next to me whispering viola jokes, and perhaps some not so fond memories of receiving a few […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[46],"class_list":["post-757","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-violin-musings","tag-because-im-nuts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denleymusic.com\/musicblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/757","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denleymusic.com\/musicblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denleymusic.com\/musicblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denleymusic.com\/musicblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denleymusic.com\/musicblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=757"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.denleymusic.com\/musicblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/757\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denleymusic.com\/musicblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=757"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denleymusic.com\/musicblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=757"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denleymusic.com\/musicblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=757"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}